What Larry Henares wrote about Eldon Cruz…

What Larry Henares wrote about Eldon Cruz in PDI back in 1989

October 10, 2011 at 3:54am

Theory of Relativity & Relatives
(Excerpt from Larry Henares’ Book titled “Sweet and Sour”)

Eldon Cruz

By Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, all observation is dependent on the position of the observer; light is not a wave but a quantum, and it doesn’t travel in a straight line; if you travel at the speed of light, time will stop and you will live forever; you see stars as they existed thousands of years ago, and if you want to watch the execution of Rizal, position yourself with a large telescope in space 103 light years away; matter and energy are interchangeable according to the formula E = mc2, where E is energy, m is the mass of matter and c is the velocity of light.

According to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, if Cory is on a train, and she drops the head of Eldon Cruz on the floor — Cory will see the head fall in a straight line to the floor — but anyone else outside on the station platform as the train speeds by, will see Eldon’s head fall in an eliptical curve, because the train will have moved laterally from the time Cory drops Eldon’s head to the time it lands at her feet.

Thus according to the presidential Theory of Relativity and Relatives, Eldon Cruz moves in a straight and narrow path, the model of honesty and integrity. That is from her own vantage point. But from where the rest of the Filipinos stand, Eldon may look as if he is moving in a crooked eliptical curve.

* * *

For one thing, Eldon doesn’t seem to have any visible means of support. Neither his own brother-in-law nor friends know where he is working. He is rumored to be working for the Sorianos, but he is not, not in San Miguel Corporation, not in the Anscor.

He used to work with Boy Blue del Rosario in the Asia Bank, but he is not anymore according to the board chairman.

There are rumors that he is in the board of directors of a dozen corporations, like Pacifico Marcos used to be (hahaha), but we could not pinpoint any company he is connected with. The only thing we know is that he plays golf most of all the time, with very rich people.

For another, it seems he is endowed with genius for getting his best friends into 12 government positions. His opinion and recommendations are eagerly sought. He and his wife Ballsy probably recommended Philip Juico, their best friend, whose qualifications and experience in the field of Agrarian Reform were nil.

* * *

Can you believe that Sec. Reinerio Reyes solicited the recommendation of Eldon Cruz for the position of NTC deputy commissioner, according to Eldon himself?

Now why should the truncated nose of IBM seek the advice of an unemployed golfer? What special qualifications does Eldon have that he can divine with most enlightened wisdom the best man for NTC deputy commissioner?

According to Linggoy Alcuaz, he received a copy of his appointment as NTC Commissioner from Eldon Cruz even before he got the official copy.

Sonny Belmonte also got his appointment as GSIS Chairman directly from Council of Trent leader Cesar Buenaventura.

What Eldon Cruz and Cesar Buenaventura wanted to tell Linggoy and Sonny, is that they have the ear of the President and access to the private files of Malacañang — and that Linggoy and Sonny better toe the line, or else!

* * *

The bees of gossip are buzzing. For instance, it is bruited about that Sharp only wanted P12 million for the Garchitorena land bought at P3 million; but that P50 million was added because that was the amount needed for the downpayment on the Associated Bank which is for sale and reserved for you know whom.

And if the PLDT finally succeeds in having the gateways of PhilCom and ETPI cancelled, and in denying interconnection with Express Telecom, you can be sure the Theory of Relativity and Relatives is still at work.

November 25, 1989; December 11, 1989, Philippine Daily Inquirer Yup! Ballsy’s husband that punched a Chinese reporter during a Cebu Pacific flight.
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