"It's like…"

By Manuel Buencamino
Business Mirror
Dec. 24 ,2008

Cardinal Rosales got it right when he said leaving it to a con-ass to amend the Constitution is "like entrusting your teenage daughter in the care of a rapist."

Many honorables of the Netherhouse were offended by the Cardinal's choice of words so I've prepared a list of more acceptable alternatives:

"Allowing the House of Rapepresentathieves to constitute itself into a con-ass with carte blanche to amend the Constitution is…

… like entrusting human rights in the care of General Jovito Palparan."

… like entrusting Bantay Bata in the care of Romeo Jalosjos."

… like entrusting elections in the care of Garci and Benjamin Abalos."

… like entrusting justice in the care of DOJ Secretary Raul Gonzalez."

… like entrusting land reform in the care of Reps. Mikey and Ignacio Arroyo."

… like entrusting impeachment in the care of the House justice committee."

… like entrusting mental health in the care of Sen. Miriam Santiago."

… like entrusting the independence of Congress in the care of Mikey Arroyo's errand boy, 'Speaker' Prospero Nograles."

… like entrusting national security in the care of Norberto Gonzalez."

… like entrusting anti-terrorism in the care of the Abu Sayyaf."

… like entrusting the Mindanao peace talks in the care of Sec. Jesus Dureza, Gen. Hermogenes Esperon, and Commander Bravo."

… like entrusting the personal safety and security of ZTE-NBN whistle blower Jun Lozada in the care of DENR Sec. Lito Atienza, Police Protection and Security Office Chief Romeo Hilomen and his deputy Paul Mascarinas, Aviation Security Group Chief Atilano Morada, airport security chief Angel Atutubo and Rodolfo Valeroso, Mike Defensor, Romulo Neri, Undersecretary Manuel Gaite and Atty. Antonio Bautista."

… like entrusting maritime safety in the care of the owners of Sulpicio Lines."

… like entrusting the procurement of the AFP in the care of Gen. Carlos Garcia and the intelligence funds of the PNP in the care of police comptroller Eugenio dela Paz."

… like entrusting the Fertilizer funds in the care of Jocjoc Bolante."

… like entrusting the GSIS in the care of Winston Garcia and the SSS in the care Romulo Neri."

… like entrusting the NEDA in the care of Jose Maria Sison."

… like entrusting the gold in Mt. Diwalwal in the care of DTI Sec. Peter Favila and Mike Defensor."

… like entrusting the national broadband network in the care of DOTC Sec. Leandro Mendoza, Asec. Lorenzo Formoso, Benjamin Abalos, Yu Yong, Fan Yang, Mike Defensor, DTI Sec. Peter Favila, and Gloria Arroyo."

… like entrusting the budget in the care of DBM Sec. Rolando Andaya and Gloria Arroyo."

… like entrusting the banking system in the care of rural banker Celso de los Angeles."

… like entrusting the Senate ethics committee in the care of Sen. Joker Arroyo."

… like entrusting the anti-corruption campaign in the care of Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez."

… like entrusting the anti-jueteng campaign in the care of Chavit Singson and Atong Ang."

… like entrusting the anti-smuggling campaign in the care of someone's girlfriend."

… like entrusting anti-money laundering in the care of Rep. Ignacio 'Jose Pidal' Arroyo."

… like entrusting fire prevention in the care of an arsonist."

… like entrusting your house keys in the care of Bonnie and Clyde Arroyo."