Joke Time

Story 1

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the
shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to
a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door.
Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to
see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.

"Where to?" he stammered.

"Union Station," answered the woman.

"You got it," he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.

The woman caught him staring at her and asked, "Just what the
hell are you looking at, driver?"

"Well ma'am, I noticed that you're completely naked, and you don't
have any pockets or a purse, so I was just wondering how you'll
pay your fare."

The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat,
smiled at the driver and said, "Does this answer your question?"

Still looking in the mirror, the cabby asked, "Have you got
anything smaller?"


Story 2

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab
driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he
staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I
don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're
as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get
a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that
there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single
and I'm Catholic too!

"OK" the nun says "Pull into the next alley" He does and the
nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child,said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess,
I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way
to a Halloween party."