Joke Time - Why Teachers DRINK

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons .
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. How is dew formed ?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections ?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election .

Q. What are steroids ?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs . (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope .)

Q. What happens to your body as you age ?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental .

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty ?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery . (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes .
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination ?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour ?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant .)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categori zed (e.g. t he abdomen) ?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
(wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control ?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
(That would work .)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' .
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit .)

Q. What is a terminal illness ?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
( Brilliant . )

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.
Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his
diaper and wraps it around his head.
( N ow we ’re getting somewhere .)

picked up from a facebook post