The Corruptionary will make you laugh till it hurts

"Corruptionary: Natatanging diksyonaryo ng mga salitang korapsyon"
Edited by Bonifacio T. Ilagan
Published by the Center for People Empowerment in Governance
207 pages


A book review by RAMIL DIGAL GULLE
abs-cbnNEWS.com

If corruption is the enemy, then how do we fight it? For the guys at the CenPEG or Center for People Empowerment in Governance, the first step is to know your enemy. And to arm us with this knowledge, they published the "Corruptionary", a 207-page volume of terms that all refer to the many interesting ways that the government and the bureaucracy cheat and steal from us.

The Corruptionary compiles hundreds of terms that refer to corrupt acts done by--well, everyone, it seems, from lowly government employees to the highest officials of the land.

The terms show a mixture of humor, disgust and anger toward corrupt persons and their acts. Many, if not most of the terms, reflect the Pinoy talent for puns and a hilarious dig at the corrupt official/s.

Below is a sampling of those terms and their meanings:

Hidden budget

– a noun referring to a budget allocation that is not specified and made not to be so obvious. As a result, this allocation could easily be pocketed.

Drakula

– named after the classic novel, this noun refers to a corrupt official who is able to siphon off public funds for his own personal gain.

Dorobo

– from the Japanese word that means "thief"; this adjective refers to any item that was previously stolen, but was stolen a second time by someone else.

Doktor

– nothing medical or healing about this. This refers to a person who is an expert at any or all of the following: 1) making fake documents; 2) a fixer who can get a procedure speeded up or approved in exchange for money; or 3) as a verb, "dinoktor", to mean manipulating a process for illegal ends.

"Horrorable"

"Horrorable" is a noun that refers to a corrupt judge who should have been more honorable in his conduct. Isn't that right, Your, er, Your Horror?

"Department Store of Justice"

Some of these terms are specific to the government agency involved in a particular corrupt act. For example, there's the noun "Department Store of Justice."
This term, according to the Corruptionary, arose from the habit of some Department of Justice employees to go malling—at the nearby Robinson's Place in Ermita, Manila—even during officer hours. The Corruptionary gives samples of dialogue to show how this and other terms are used:

Opisyal 1: Myka, nakita mo ba si Diña? May ipapagawa akong ilang dokumento.

Myka: Sir, pumunta po yata sa Department Store of Justice.

Opisyal 1: Ganun ba? Sayang, di ko alam! Me ipapabili pa naman ako.

Translation:

Official: Myka, have you seen Diña? I need her to process some documents.

Myka: Sir, I think she went to the Deparment Store of Justice.

Official: Really? Too bad, I didn't know! I would have asked her to buy something for me.


"Daya Time Record"

Then there's the corrupt version of the government Day Time Record. Since some government employees have found a way to cheat on the number of hours they actually worked in a day, they are said to be submitting a "Daya Time Record"--a doctored record intended to help them get maximum wages for minimum hours spent at work. "Daya" is the Filipino word for "cheating" or "cheat".

"Bendisyon"

Other terms reflect our Catholic upbringing. "Bendisyon" in the Corruptionary refers not to any holy benediction or blessing but means the approval of a corrupt high official for something illegal to be done.
For example:

"Juana: Uy, di ba bawal yan? First come, first served, dib a?

Petra: Hehehe. Me bendisyon ito ni Secretary, laban ka? Gagawin ko ba ito kung wala?

Translation:

Juana: Hey, that's forbidden. It should be first come, first served, right?

Petra: This has the "bendisyon" (benediction) of the Secretary. Would I do this without it?

"Bituing May Ningning"

One term was taken from the title of a popular Sharon Cuneta movie during the 1980s. That movie's title, "Butuing Walang Ningning" (star that doesn't shine) has mutated and found its way into the Corruptionary as "Bituing May Ningning" (star that shines).
The noun "Bituing May Ningning" is used by the corrupt to refer to a rich person that has become the mark or target for corruption. Perhaps, that rich person will be asked to pay a bribe, or be forced to participate in a corrupt transaction.

This term is rather creative since it describes the rich target as "shining", perhaps referring to the twinkle of his money or the brightness of his social status.

"For Official's Use Only"

A pun on the sign on the side of government vehicles that says "For Official Use Only". This term refers to vehicles that are government property, purchased and maintained by government money, and whose fuel expenses are paid for by us taxpayers, but are actually being used by a government official as his personal transportation. Some of these "For Official's Use Only" vehicles have even been spotted parked outside girlie bars.

"15/30" or "Republic Act 1530"

Refers to government employees, appointees or officials who only show up for work on the 15th and 30th of the month. They show up to collect their salaries, which they get in full. In other words, they are freeloaders who get paid for doing a lot of nothing.

"Consuholtant"

Here's another interesting term: "Consuholtant" which is a Taglish pantoum of "consultant" and "suhol" (Filipino word for "bribe").
Supposedly, a consuholtant is someone who you consult because he or she is an expert at corrupt transactions.

"ATM Journalism"

Let's not spare the corrupt mediamen. A corrupt journalist who becomes a paid attack dog by a corrupt official is said to have finished a degree in "ATM Journalism". This is because the payments to him or her are deposited in a separate ATM account for easy withdrawal. Another term for a corrupt journalist is "hao siao" which refers to a journalist who otherwise appears credible, competent and very skilled at his job—but is really in the payroll of the corrupt and powerful.
Sadly, the Corruptionary can only grow in the future. Even new terms that arose from the recent NBN-ZTE Broadband Deal fiasco are in the book.

There's "bubukol" (meaning "lump" or "bump"). "Bubukol" refers to an act of padding the expenses for a government contract that has become obvious, so some fine-tuning is needed. This term got into our popular lexicon courtesy of NBN-ZTE whistle-blower Jun Lozada.

Even the now infamous "hamborjer" (a mispronunciation of "burger") made it to the Corruptionary. Every Pinoy now knows that the "borjer" is the hamburger served at Ben's Diner, a restaurant inside the Wack-Wack Golf and Country Club where, according to Jun Lozada, corrupt officials meet and scheme.

This hamborjer is a recipe of former Commission of Elections and still Wack-Wack president Benjamin Abalos. He owns Ben's Diner. Abalos himself proudly plugged his "borjer" on national TV, saying it is a burjer so delicious, it is to die for. (He was making a dig a Jun Lozada, who kept going back to Wack-Wack and Ben's Diner despite a threat on his life supposedly issued by Abalos).

Finally, there's the term "Bacteria". In the Corruptionary, the term "bacteria" refers to employees and officials who are incorrigibly engaged in corruption. This term clearly reflects our attitude towards the corrupt as dangerous pathogens that feed on the nation's resources and could become a cause for national sickness.

The Corruptionary shows that corruption in our society, particularly in the government bureaucracy, in business, the workplace and many other settings, has become endemic, and is an actual sub-culture.

Unfortunately, the Corruptionary only names the culprits and the corrupt acts. It's like shining a flashlight on the underside of a rotting tree, where all the worms, fungi and other disgusting vermin live. But how do you eliminate these pests and clean up the festering, putrid structure?

Maybe we need another book for that--perhaps a Corruptopedia? What book will spur Filipinos to decide that they've had enough of corruption?